An ode to Running

An Ode to Running, by Erik Voldengen

Getting a big paper cut. Licking a slug. Eating a tuna sandwich left out in the sun for three days.

All better than running.

Diving headfirst into a big blackberry bush. Unclogging the toilet with your bare hands. Chewing an old piece of gum you found on the sidewalk.

All better than running.

Walking barefoot on a very hot road. Getting your finger slammed in a car door. Getting your hair caught in a belt sander.

All better than running.

Eating that thing that has merged into one giant chunk in your Grandmas candy dish. Using Poison Oak for toilet paper in the woods. Stepping on a nail. Twice.

All better than running.

There are lots of things I like to do,
but as for running, I'd rather spew.

Some people run for inner reflection,
But I'd rather have a nasty infection

Of all the things that I suck at
Running wins, no doubt about that.